Welcome Matthew Ray McKown- October 27, 2009

On October 27, 2009 at 11:27pm, our son Matthew Ray McKown was born and has since changed our lives forever. As I begin to write this I am excited to re-live the excitement and feelings of bringing him into this world and all the days since then.

On Tuesday morning, 10/27, at 5:30am I got up to go to the bathroom, except for when I was leaning out of bed my water broke (and there is no denying when that happens...weird feeling). I woke up David and we both got in the shower to get to the hospital. We got to Hillcrest about 6:30am and got checked in. They determined that my water had broken and got us into a room. We were soo excited when we discovered that our doctor, Dr. Patterson, was on call that day and would be delivering us. God is good.

They determined I was dilated to about 3cm and 75% effaced at 7am. Dr. Patterson came at 8:00am and started me on Pitocin in order to help progress our labor since my water had broken there was concern for infection. At 10:00am the contractions began to get more intense and were requring a little more focus and attention. At 12:00, Dr. Patterson checked me again and said that I had not dilated much and they up'd my Pitocin. At about 3:00pm the contractions had and were continuing to get pretty strong, David and I were laboring through them and trying to practice our methods. I began to doubt myself and David talked me through one more hour to 4:00pm when our doctor came back. We had decided that if we were close to delivery we would push on, she told us that I was dilated to a 5 and it would probably be a while. She said she would just now determine me in "active labor" and this was when most people came to the hospital. At that time we all felt it would be realistic to get the epidural.

Getting the epidural was not bad, however at about 7pm it stopped working on my left side so I was continuing to feel those pains. I guess 1/2 the pain isn't as bad, right?!?!  They adjusted my line and gave me some extra stuff and it helped for a while. However, it also caused me to have some other issues, like uncontrolled shaking, which is partly medicine and partly hormones getting ready to deliver. It was a weird feeling and I don't think David enjoyed it as he kept trying to hold my hand still. At 8pm the doctor and nurses began to put me in different positions on the bed in order to help Matthew turn. They had determined that he was facing up and was unable to descend down anymore unless he turned. They also put in a interuterine catheter to determine the intensity of the contractionts to see if they were strong enough to help us progress. This was our last option to help before having to consider a c-section because our doctor wanted him out within 18 hours because of the risks.

David and I said a prayer together at that time and asked that God be in control of the decisions and progress. At 9:30pm I was feeling intense pressure and told David that I felt like he was coming and had the urge to push. The nurse came in a checked and said she could see the head and it was time to push. Answer to prayer. Dr. Patterson came in at about 10:30 and we began pushing. The pushing was really an incredible feeling. With each push I could really tell that Matthew was coming down and feeling that progress and being that close to seeing him made it easier to motivate myself. Dr. Patterson and the nurses were so incredibly encouraging as well as David in coaching me through that part. At 11:27pm Matthew Ray McKown came into this world weighing in at 7lbs, 7oz., and 20 1/4 inches long.

An absolutely amazing feeling to hold the little person you have had inside for 9 months and have prayed for each day. To see him and to hold him is truly too much for words and the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced.

I would be remiss if I did not express my gratitude to Dr. Karen Patterson who has been the most amazing OB/GYN doctor and truly provided a gift, not just delivering Matthew but her time, genuine concern and care, and direciton, to David and me. Lorraine and Lisa were the 2 RNs that were involved with us and they were genuinely excited about delivering our baby and so supportive and encouraging and helped to make the process easier. Thank you to each of you for how you involved yourself in our lives for a short while, you have no idea how much effect your tenderness and compassion had on us.

We introduced the grandparents that were there and had been waiting anxiously in the hallway. At one point, I'm told my mother was wandering if she found a cup and put it to the door if she would be able to hear what was going on. They were able to hear Matthew cry when he came out and they were super excited to meet and hold him. Many oohs and aahs at that moment and it was cool to see my parents hold my kid. We then went up to our room and my parents were a true gift when they went at 1:30am and brought us both back Whataburger, since we hadn't eaten all day. That food never tasted so good.

David went home the next morning to shower and to check on the animals, my mom came and stayed with me while he was gone and I got a good nap in. When David got back he surprised me with a beautiful new necklace. It is a opal stone with a diamond, which is Matthew's birthstone. He got it for me so that I could always have Matthew with me. I was very surprised and overwhelmed and grateful. I now where this necklace proudly knowing who it was from, the love of my life and wonderful husband, and what it stands for, the other love of my life, my son. Thank you David.

We stayed in the hospital from 10/27 to 10/30 and learned alot about ourselves and Matthew. The nursing staff of postpartum was exceptional and also extremely helpful. The ladies that assisted us with getting set up for breastfeeding were amazing as well. Wednesday night we were overwhelmed by people who came to show their support and welcome Matthew into this world. It was good to see friends and family and show off our little one. I think at one point there were about 15 people in our room and David was entertaining one side of the room while I did the other. Matthew slept through being passed around to all those people.

Wednesday night was by far the most difficult night. I had not slept but probably 6 hours since we got to the hospital and that night Matthew was having a hard time being consoled. The nurses said that the 2nd night of a baby's life they are usually pretty clingy and want to be with mom alot. David had not slept either and he was looking pretty rough so I let him sleep through this saga and had a great nurse who helped me find the most appropriate way to breastfeed him in different positions.

Thursday night, David and I had the infamous "to pacify or not to pacify" argument at about 3:00am when Matthew was not being consoled. At one point, David said we're using the pacifier, and Matthew took it used it for about 3 minutes, spit it out and was sound asleep for another few hours. Sometimes father knows best. We asked our doctor the next morning what she thought about it and she explained it well saying sometimes we want to be purest but sometimes we've got to do what we've got to do. (And, pacifiers are supposed to be a preventative measure in preventing SIDS). I went and slept with David on the couch at one point that night just to be close to him, and that was good support. The nurse actually had to wake me up in order to give me my medicine over there.

We went home on Friday, 10/30 at about 12:30pm. It was good to be outside and on our way home to where the three of us will be a family together. We took him home and worked to clean up some of the mess we had from when we left unexpectedly on Tuesday. We also kept holding Matthew in the son as he was jaundice when he left the hospital and the sun light helps that. (His jaundice has improved significantly and our pediatrician called us and told us that he was hopeful it was headed in the right direction for being gone in a while).

 Matthew did great and still continues to eat, sleep and be merry. We have enjoyed getting to know our little one since we've had him. I've been working on getting this blog together over the past few days and today, 11/2 he is 5 days old and everyday finds a new way to steal my heart. I am breastfeeding and that has been going well. David organized me a table in our room so I could have everything there to make it easier. I'm sleeping when I can and trying to focus my attention to Matthew and myself in order to provide for the best health for both of us. It has been hard, I won't lie, but ultimately it will get better and everytime I see my baby boy's face I know why I'm getting up and feeding him every 3 hours. There have been many teary moments, as is to be expected, but they are improving and I'm beginning to find God's peace again and giving myself permission to feel everything and not have to be strong all the time. We have been encouraged many times by our pediatrician, my OB/GYN, family and friends that Matthew is doing exceptionally well and that is something we know and will continue to work to provide for him and protect him.

David was and still is my strong foundation and has been amazing in showing his love, devotion and support to me. We told each other in the hospital, "We just thought we loved each other alot" now we have Matthew to give our combined love to. David is also especially smitten with his son and has been amazing to watch him pour out his love to his son. I have felt many emotions throughout this time, some controlled, others hormones. But David has been so gentle and kind and has loved me through it. I also have found time to read my Bible a little each day and have found great promises and strength. One promise that I found and am clinging to each day is Isaiah 41:10- "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Matthew, my beautiful boy. I have loved you since the day I found out I was pregnant. I have prayed for you everyday and it has been a joy to see you, meet you, love and kiss you and to see that God is faithful and brought you to us in His perfect timing. You are absolutely beautiful and it brings tears to my eyes as I am overwhelmed with you and my strong desire to give you all the love I have. Your daddy and I promise to love and protect you for the rest of our lives knowing that will be hard because we can't protect you from everything. We will try to be examples of love and respect for you and will look to train you up in the way of the Lord and pray for the day that you know Jesus as your own. It is a joy to call you son and to know that I am your mom, nothing gives me greater joy, responsibility and honor than that title.

Matthew, you did it and I'm so proud of you and look forward to our lives together with daddy, you and me.

I love you son.