Hello Motherhoood

It has been a while since my last post...welcome to motherhood!!  It has been an "interesting" few past days and motherhood should always be compared to a roller coaster, because what a ride. Things have gotten better, but I'd be lying if I said there were not still some tough days that we've gone through. Who knew that sleep really did have such an effect on your mental and emotional well being. Matthew is feeding well and sleeping well, he will go about 4 1/2 hours at night right now, which is helpful. David has been an absolute angel and has been my friend as well as my husband. He truly knows me better than I know myself and is able to tell me to get some rest when I don't think I need it (but who really thinks clearly when they're sleep deprived?!!?). It will get better and each day I'm able to get a little more perspective on the situation.

What I've learned about myself so far:
- Sleep really is a good thing and not to be taken for granted
- I've never relied more on my Jesus than now...and that is truly the only thing that has gotten me through this
- It is hard for me to ask for help, but I'm grateful for the people that really know me and know how to help without me asking. I have been humbled by many people's graciousness.
- It is okay to not have a plan or schedule for everything...in fact, its impossible (trust me, I've tried).
- I love my husband more today than I ever thought I could when I married him...he also has continued to steal my heart through parenthood
- Pee and poop can be "cute" when it comes out of your own kid
- I'm not as strong as I thought I could be, but praise God that He is strong in my weakness
- There are alot of strange noises outside at 3am
- I've never been so joyful about something and Matthew has a way of creating a hope in me like I've never known or knew was possible.

Matthew every day continues to make everything worth it. He is smiling more, responding to our play times together and becoming more alert and its great to see his bright, big eyes. It has been so rich an experience getting to know him in an intimate way. I feel like our hearts talk to each other sometimes when he looks back into my eyes. His smile lights up a room. There are so many people who are proud of him and it is great to see that in others.

David has been feeding him at night and informed me that they have been watching "guy movies" together. They've watched Rambo, Rambo II and Terminator so far. Its cute to see David with him and I know that Matthew will grow up knowing his daddy and they will be great friends. David tells him all the time that when he was born everyone went down one spot on his favorite person list. Its fun to be with my 2 guys and know I'll be look after by both of them.

I have more pictures to post but that will have to come another day as I'm already out of energy and its dinnertime for Matthew. Thank you to everyone for your encouragement and concern. We're doing good and trying to take it one day, one moment at a time.