Reflections of a Tax Widow

Tax season (beginning mid January- April 15th) is a big thing in our household. It's not only a big part of our livelihood and income but this is David's passion and where God has placed him. I really have been confirmed that he is good at it as well and his mind clicks in such a way that being a CPA really gives him the outlet to be detail oriented, focused, and driven. I'm very proud of him to say the least.

However, tax season ALWAYS, let me say that again, Always! sneaks up on me. David and I always prepare for his temporary leave from the family by taking a trip in January, which was Vegas. And then I get the infamous email..."Mike said overtime hours need to start this week." What?!?! Wait, I'm not ready. Well, there's not really an option. So it begins and David works on Saturdays, some Sundays, and also late in the evening. It takes him away not only from us wanting him there but I know he would rather be at home spending time there as well.

So, do I learn anything during tax season? If I let myself I will. Which I really tried to this year, and I always learn that I never want to be a single parent and I'm richly blessed to have David around. But not only around but involved, he wants to spend time with Matthew, he wants to give me time for me, and he proves to me on a consistent basis that work and family are important to him.

I thought this year would be easier because I wasn't on a newborn schedule, but this year had its challenges of its own and they can all be summed up in three words...on the move. Which is what Matthew is right now. Of course, it keeps me focused and out of trouble (aka, laziness) when he like that.

I realized also that my job during this tax season was to not only be Matthew's mom, but to be the safe place for David to land when he came home. Sometimes, I found myself focused on my needs and failed to recognize the needs he has. (Pam, the world does not revolve around you...shocker!!!)  But the most important thing I'm always reminded during tax season as a wife is that if I create a defensive, complaining and demanding environment at home then David's not going to feel like he has an outlet there. So, I try to choose my battles wisely and realize I'm where David comes to be loved, supported and praised when he may not be getting that at work. He needs to here I'm proud of you regardless of how much money you got someone on their return. So, that was my focus. I was better able to express my concerns and needs and not completely deny them but recognize that they needed to come second even though they were in my face.

Good reminders for me. I also have the most amazing family and a few friends that stepped up to the plate to recognize the need in me for a break, even when I didn't. My parents are phenomenal and allowed me to take care of me during this time. That time was priceless. I had a couple of friends, that texted, called or took us to dinner at just the right time and they didn't know how helpful they were being. Got good people around us and it truly take a village.

So, tax season is over. David is currently playing golf to relax and plans to spend some time with his boy this afternoon. Celebrations are planned and most importantly I'm hoping that my lessons learned as a wife and mom continue to be fostered for the rest of the year and complacency doesn't take over my desire to be the best for my family that God will allow me to be.